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Poems About Race

by Rosie Bergonzi

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1.
I’m not just a hashtag. I was Black before you cared. When it was was ‘lockdown lyf’ and sourdough madness Hashtag ‘follow my liberal sadness’ You didn’t care. It wasn’t cool I don’t trust you, White folk, to stay interested. I don’t trust you, White folk, to stay woke. Tweeting is fun when instagram pings and the likes pour in Facebook gives you the win but it won’t be hip soon to be ‘No Longer Talking to White People About Race’ to leave ‘White Fragility’ in pride of place You can’t keep this up you won’t sustain this pace I don’t trust you, white folk to ‘stay woke’ Prove me I’m wrong. I want this to be different. Maybe 2020 is the year you’re all going to listen I don’t trust you, White folk. Yet. You didn’t know our suffering before? Ok. Bore no witness to our trauma before? Ok. That stuff doesn’t happen over here? Ok. You told yourself that? Okay. But you know better now. Because I’m still Black but today you care. So if you’re listening Vow to change yourself. And anyone you reach. Everything you learn is something you can teach. I wanna trust you, White folk, I do. But you have to stay connected. Every day, every week, every year. This cause is our cause. Your anger, your thirst for change isn’t a candle that flares and dies with shares. It’s embers that seethe every day till you’re filled with fire and you can’t be quiet. Make caring a habit when there’s no death porn to stoke you, stay awake and listen when we tell you what we go through. Amplify Black voices. And care. Care about me. care about us. Care, about all of this. I wanna trust you, White folk. I do. Don’t leave me as your hashtag. I’m not just a hashtag
2.
Now this song contains my very favourite thing. A sing-a-long chorus! Give it a go, I’ll teach you the words along the way When I say Black lives you say all lives ‘Black lives’ (?) ‘Black lives’ (?) When I say Black lives you say all lives ‘Black lives’ (?) What? Before we spoke out you said nothing Where were your chants for your people back then? Where were your protests, petitions, decisions to keep every life on this planet safe? Did you do anything? Did you say anything? To support all these lives you so care about? Your placard and banner are stored by the door but you won’t step out and start to shout till I do. Just to prove you’re louder Because without ‘Black’ Your ALL is just a shadow, your ALL is just a echo, your ALL is just my BLACK reflected Your All is just a ripple, your ALL is artificial, without BLACK your ALL is neglected When I say Black lives you say all lives ‘Black lives’ (?) ‘Black lives’ (?) When I say Black lives you say all lives ‘Black lives’ (?) You’re no more than a toddler aged four wants my truck when I pick it up, you only want to play because I’M holding the toy. You infant, you baby, you ‘real life’ food envy ‘Waaaa’ ‘I want IT. We need a name and a place to vent about our strife, you don't know that feeling, your safe space is LIFE Are you wondering why equality has always eluded us It’s because your ‘all’ has never included us. When I say Black lives you say all lives ‘Black lives’ (?) ‘Black lives’ (?) When I say Black lives you say all lives Oh stop it! When you're googling for Men's Day and you're searching for Straight Pride You’ve only found your voice to silence mine. It doesn’t diminish another group just to focus in on those in harm. When my leg is broken please don’t examine my arm. Same does not mean equal, while racism is legal, this system is evil,my skin cannot be lethal If you don’t trust a movement without you in the centre, realise you’ve always been the oppressor. And while we’re dying? Show you care about ALL LIVES When I say Black lives you say Black lives, Back lives , Black lives Black lives, Black Lives, Black Lives Black Lives Matter
3.
Racist is a big word, it's hard to make it stick If I suggest you wear it, you’ll be sure it doesn’t fit. Yet when every person with dark skin has suffered abuse Who’s doing it? Clearly someone’s confused You don’t think I’m subhuman, undecided if protest is wrong you rarely say the N word (only while singing along) you’re definitely one of the good guys, you hate the KKK and honestly you don’t see colour, ‘It doesn’t really matter these days!’ But doing nothing isn’t enough anymore The man who spat on me for my skin he wasn’t you, but who? The officer who punched me for my skin wasn’t you, its true It's not you who touches me in the street, who tugs on my hair, who kisses your teeth, stands up over me, shouts ‘Oi monkey’ chose a dark night to follow me But somebody does because somebody has, but who? Someone you know. They’re all part of your system Just a link in a racist chain keeping us enslaved Doing nothing isn’t enough anymore The words that hurt know the face that scowls the tongues that tut know the eyes that roll the mouths that shout know the lips that spit hands that shove know fists that hit and we all know the knees that kill. For years its been deemed acceptable that those who die most are always my people It's all connected. Doing nothing isn’t enough anymore So try something! One word you speak in defence of our fight Ripples, spreads, builds power overnight Just one utterance of ‘Mate that’s not on’ And change has begun. People, not policies, push forward laws Alter what you hear behind closed doors. It hasn't worked, your vague ‘Be kind’ Engage with your body and your mind. You don’t have to scream, you don’t have to shout just speak up, just speak out. You’re static, you’re silent, twiddling your thumbs watching nothing get done Just another link in a racist chain keeping us enslaved Doing nothing isn’t enough anymore Our system’s left unshaken, if everything stays the same Unless you actually fight for us nothing will ever change We need a critical mass of population shouting THIS IS WRONG I need to hear your voice, join with me, sing my song Alter policy Make actions priority Call out hypocrisy Acknowledge the colony Self asses honestly Give genuinely apology Spot hurtful ideology End inequality! Be brave have that conversation, give yourself an education You’re one degree of separation from someone wants me OUT this nation Search for the closest racist, they won’t be far away And if they live inside your head, make a change today Trust this is an issue, stare at it head on. It’s a problem for Black people but its not a Black people problem It's all of you sitting still quietly looking away Doing nothing isn’t enough anymore break the chain. Doing nothing isn’t enough anymore Stop doing nothing, it isn’t enough anymore break this chain. It's never been enough, do nothing, no more It's never been enough, do nothing, no more
4.
It’s been a journey to forgive my hair for the way it chooses to grow. Two decades of thinking it's scruffy and wrong is a lot of damage to undo. I thought that straight was normal, and that’s what I wanted to be. I’d never seen any women holding power in their hair like me. Summer, I was thirteen, shorts obviously, big man, small van, thinks he’s being witty shouted "get a haircut then I’ll shag you". I stood stock still. Shocked and floundered. My hair wasn’t up to HIS standards? I’m so wrong I can’t be catcalled right. Authority figures control their curls: I never saw a teacher, doctor, lawyer who visibly sported her natural do, the shame would simply destroy her. Black women wear a White woman’s hair, to get onto TV you need straighteners. Stamp out any hint of ‘ethnic’ to keep your employer. I learned how to chameleon, to talk white, sit quiet, look right but my hair can’t hide it holds my power. Aged 21, just off cut my dreads, a professor approved he loudly said I looked more "sensible, presentable, orchestral, professional." I just nod. I’d tamed that mane, for who? And you, a student too, stood silently beside me. Apologised afterwards, awkwardly. Last year whilst in my all white workroom, now I’m fully grown, eyes turn on me, as gleefully Boss calls across the room no one smiles but no one speaks, the hushed hall rings my ears for weeks, "You've got that toilet brush back on your head?" Not colleagues but mates, I love this squad no one meets my eyes so I just nod, heat streaks, my cheeks my temple throbs but I stay quiet - I need this job. I learned how to chameleon, to talk white, sit quiet, look right but my hair can’t hide it holds my power. Don’t touch my hair, do not touch my hair, get your hands out of my hair. Is it bouncy? Feels like wool? You’re having such fun? I assure you I don’t care . Greasy fingers grasp like twigs replicating what our ancestors did let me bow my head while you take what you want from my body. It’s easy to spot with mixed kids who was raised under a black mamma. My mother’s white fingers, couldn’t really grasp how to give my head a makeover. How to curl and style and twist and comb this little girl’s hair so different from her own. For all that love in her heart, there was no one to show her. And she never ever ever ever let me feel that the way I looked was lesser, but somehow out there in your domain I internalised that message. A thousand reminders that I’m not the same wormed their way inside of my brain till I wished I was bald. The weight of my fro felt oppressive. I learned how to chameleon, to talk white, sit quiet, look right but my hair can’t hide it holds my power. Just trying to like myself means battling our world’s perception I’ve lived in the lens of warped Whiteness where I’m just a broken reflection. You taught me self hatred, not different, just worse, my beautiful locks cannot be a curse. I’m not a bad copy of you. I’m my own perfection. With every hair care discovery I’m honouring the women who came before me. Spray bottle, edging gel, a wide toothed comb, it’s not just style, I’ve found my home. I’ve got study practicalities 4c? 4b? Which one is me? When do I comb? Am I supposed to brush? It seems a sleep scarf is a must. By separating out braids from twists, I’m filling in gaps of knowledge I’ve missed. It’s an ancient army I’m ready to enlist I’m about to own my own heritage. I won’t be your chameleon, can’t talk white, sit quiet, look right my hair can’t hide it holds my power. Never your chameleon. Won’t talk white, sit quiet, look right my hair can’t hide it holds my power. I hold my power.

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released May 23, 2023

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Rosie Bergonzi London, UK

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